The Sober Experience
Recovery and mental health, spirituality and life. We will be sitting down with people in and out of recovery who have helpful tips and shared experiences to provide better love and understanding on this earth. There will be a wide veriaty of topics discussed and after each interview there will be another reflection episode where I can analyze what we spoke of and what sticks to mind.
The Sober Experience
Step 3. Turning Challenges into Triumphs
We explore the transformative journey of turning one's life and will over to a higher power through Step Three of a recovery program. This episode is packed with personal stories about committing to change and the challenges that come with it, like quitting smoking alongside a family member. It's all about enduring short-term struggles for long-term growth, reclaiming responsibility for our actions, and recognizing that there are no shortcuts to genuine self-discovery.
Finally, we discuss the fine balance between indulgence and discipline, offering insights on how to maintain healthy relationships and personal growth. The conversation highlights the joy of living authentically and purposefully, distinguishing between situational contentment and true happiness. Tune in to find out how embracing gratitude for life's 'good problems' can lead to meaningful connections and a fulfilling life, where even fictional escapes take a backseat to real-world satisfaction.
What up, sober experience. We are back. Happy New Year, yeah, yep, yep, what's up everybody. Welcome back Sober Experience. I'll let that play a little bit in the background. It's the funky destination, the Inside man. Man, what a beautiful life. God is the greatest.
Speaker 1:Just came out of the ocean a couple hours ago. You know Sunday swim time. You know the deal. Oh, shout out, frank the Tank. Today's his big birthday. That was for him.
Speaker 1:Plus, I had to do a little belching and drinking this here water, Purified water from the great farm of Wesley Wesley Farms, aka BJ's. And that's it, man, we're vibing out, we're getting into it, we're doing it. Yeah, man, it's been a couple of weeks. Hope you guys been doing good. Man's been a couple of weeks. Hope you guys been doing good. Man, I had a very busy beginning of the year work-wise. It's been absolutely bonkers, um, which is good. It's a good problem to have to have more work than you can do, and you know, yeah, yeah, man, come on, you feel that beat? Drop that, dude, I can start doing the fucking the funky chicken right now. Let me lower this thing down. All right, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did the New Year's Day plunge Shout out to everybody involved, all the volunteers. We raised a lot of money. A hundred and something, I think, record money raised $140,000, $150,000. Your boy, I was on every news station that stuck a camera in my face. I was out there full-blown, brooklyned out with my DeRucci bomber jacket, with the fox fur and, uh, my little belly, my, my big gold chains and, um, oh and my notorious big timberlands. So it was a successful event. Everybody, everybody that you know, as many people as we could, had a good time. There were some people that did not have a good time and that's okay, you know, cause nobody's perfect, not even the kid. And, uh, you know, we did everything that we could and it was a beautiful time and I was able to touch a lot of people. And I was able to touch a lot of people.
Speaker 1:You know I was working on my like humility Because, you know, whatever I earned my spot. You know people ask me to do things not on accident. It's not because I'm some, you know, it's not because I'm anything other than who I am. You know what I mean. So you know, when I was walking around and you know they could tell I was.
Speaker 1:You know, maybe I was like somebody, security, whatever, at the event. You know, I had this big megaphone that I was, you know, barking at people on or whatever, and yeah, and then I was like, oh, you want to take a picture? And they're like, yeah, okay, it's like, dude, I'm the president of the Polar Bear Club. They're like, oh, my God, please, you know, because for a couple of hours I mean the event was, you know, I was there from the morning to like the way afternoon, but it was, yeah, like I don't want to run around and tell everyone, by the way, I'm the president of the Polar Bear Club, by the way, I'm the president. By the way, it's not my style, you know what I'm saying. It's just not. It's not my style.
Speaker 1:It's funny because my boy came to swim with us, I guess a week or so before the New Year's Day plunge, and, yeah, he rode the train back to the city with some of the other bears because I had other shit to do and he lives all the way in the BX and they were like, oh, it's cool that you're. You know, they were telling him like, oh, dude, you know the big guy. He's like, yeah, it's my brother. It's like, you know they were telling him like, oh, dude, you know, you know the, you know the big guy. He's like yeah, it's my brother. It's like, you know, it's a guy who dates or dated or whatever. You know my cousin. I don't know what their situation is, I don't really care to know, but you know my dominoes fucking guy you know what I'm saying. One of them, one of my Domino's partners Many years, family picnics, all this other stuff. You know what I mean. Anyway, but even he didn't know, you know, because they told him like, oh, you know the big guy. He's like yeah, that's my boy, whatever. Like no, it's the president. He's like huh, they're like yeah, I didn't know, you were the fucking, you was the whole shit of the whole night. You know, shout out, ghostface. No, he didn't know that.
Speaker 1:I, because I can just be him, I don't have to be him, if that makes any sense, you know, and that's how I kind of like to roll. But I got to say when I was introducing myself to some of the participants and some of the regular you know people that came, yeah, it made their day better. You know what I'm saying. It made that, it made them happy. It was. I wasn't like a humble brag or whatever. It was just like, no, how can I? I can make these people happy by letting them know who I am, and they were so happy to take a picture with me and that was cool. And that was cool. So there's pictures of me floating around everywhere and my mom has been calling because all her little tennis buddies were like, oh, she was calling my wife, like, oh my God, they all saw him on TV. On TV blah, blah, blah. For an 80-year-old lady for her son to be on Channel 2 or whatever she made it, it would be better if the old school Fox 5 News was a guy, pablo Guzman and Cora and Mahalik. Those were my people, anyway. So that's what I've been up to.
Speaker 1:I'm just winding down now a little bit from the last few weeks of stuff. I spent a couple days in Pittsburgh with my boy Reuven. We were doing some fine fabric cleaning stuff, learning a lot. But now I'm getting back in the groove. Getting back on schedule, yeah, and I don't know. Getting back on schedule, yeah, and I don't know. I'm just thinking about right now how much I love my wife, how much I miss my wife. I haven't really seen her that much today. So let's get the show on the road. We're going to get back to the step work, the step work. We're going to get back to the step work. We're going to stay on this spiritual journey. We're going to get back to the step work. We're going to stay on this spiritual journey. We're going to stay on the path. We're going to stay on the path. That's it. Hold on.
Speaker 1:I got to take some of these, some of these vitamins. I took my boy, frankie. I took him out to Randazzo's after the swim for his birthday. We had the crème corn chowder, which I highly recommend. We also went off the rails and had some galama and what else? Oh, mozzarella sticks. How can you go wrong with mozzarella sticks? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:So now I got to take my happy pills. These are vitamins K2, whatever, k4, d2, all this, the vitamins that you're supposed to take. A little alpha brain in here too. Some essential minerals, shroom Tech, immune. I've been taking the ashwagandha every day. I got to let you know. My regimen is I get up in the morning and I take either one or two alpha brain blacks and an ashwagandha pill. Let me tell you I feel better right away. Brain is firing, you know, right away, and I feel I feel happy even better if I go straight from there to the fucking Peloton and bust out a class, even if it's just 30 minutes, you know, break a sweat. Make sure I do my meditation, all the other shit. Make sure I get my mind right my fucking, you know my self-centered before my wife gets up, otherwise, you know, I show up as my old self. So hang on, let me just slug these back and we'll get right to the reading.
Speaker 1:I also have to get back on the diet. I did try, on the strength of my boy, liam, I did try an acai bowl the other day. It wasn't my first one, but it's probably the first one I've had in like 15 years. And yeah, I don't know, I don't know, but apparently it's good, you know, because he busts my balls all the time, because I just do what works for me and I urge everybody else to do what works for them and what works for me. I feel the best when I do mostly meat diet, mostly meat, some fruits, basically carnivore, but not like super strict. I was super strict for a while and it worked really, really well. And I was in ketosis for a long time and whatever. But you know, I think I'm just, you know, I'm just shifting, I'm shifting. So I tried the acai bowl and you know I felt, uh, what do you call that? You know the feminine divine power. You know, I was the fucking pink Power Ranger for about 35 minutes, which I don't mind. You know, I'm pretty fluid. Anyway, back to the back to the regular schedule.
Speaker 1:Program Step three made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him. We've worked steps one and two with our sponsor, me. We've surrendered and we've demonstrated our willingness to try something new. This is like stuff that we have to do on a regular basis. Like you know, you go over your life and where in your life are you just like, dude, this is a dead end, that I am like one of these little child robots that's just bouncing into the fucking wall because it doesn't know how to turn around and it's like, and it just keeps hitting its head on the wall and there's some parts of all of our lives that are like that. You know, that's the unmanageability. That's like. You know, we need somebody from outside yourself to say hey, listen, we got to turn this fucking thing around, you know. So we've demonstrated our willingness to try something new. This has changed us with a strong sense of hope. Sorry, not changed, charged. This has charged us with a strong sense of hope.
Speaker 1:If we do not translate our hope into action right now, it will fade away. There we go. Who's been like new year, new me. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And next thing, you know what's today's date? My mom's birthday is soon Shout out to her January 12th already. My mom's birthday is in two days. You mom's birthday is soon January 12th already. But my mom's birthday is in two days, yeah, so whatever with that, yeah, but if we do not translate our hope into action right now, we'll fade away.
Speaker 1:So I don't know how many people have already given up on their quote unquote New Year's resolutions. I don't really have too many of them, except for to stay on the path, be a little bit more consistent In some areas of my life and stay close to you guys. Somebody asked me today Like dude, you still doing your show. I'm like fuck, I know it's been a few weeks, but it was like very, the things that I was describing that were nice and whatever. It took a lot of work to put together that New Year shit and all the other stuff. And you know, yeah, and I didn't do a lot of the heavy lifting there's this lady whatever her name is cindy man, she was she. She had a shit sandwich every day for fucking breakfast, lunch and dinner and she did it and she did it. Man, she's not even a polar bear. She works for this other organization that we help out and, uh, I was just impressed with her as a human. Yeah, she worked pretty hard. You know what I'm saying. Anyway, it will fade away and we'll end up right back where we started.
Speaker 1:The action we need to do is to take. The action we need to take is working. Step three the central action in step three is a decision. The idea of making a decision may terrify us, especially when we look at what we've been deciding, what we're deciding to do in this step. Making a decision, any decision, is something most of us haven't done in a long time. It's different than having an idea. This is me, my commentating. It's different than having an idea. This is me, my commentating. It's different.
Speaker 1:Having an idea about something and making a decision to do something is two different things. When you're making a decision, you're committing to action, like I'm deciding that like look, you know, one of my kids had to quit smoking. You know the middle one, Adrian, who I love all the way to the moon and they had to fucking quit. And guess who fucking quit with them? Your boy. I haven't had cigars in a while, man, Maybe six weeks or whatever. And it was, yeah, probably about six, maybe two months I haven't had a cigar and I was a daily cigar smoker. You know that was the deal. But yeah, I made a decision, I took action and then I suffered for a couple of days and now here we are.
Speaker 1:You know, the idea of making a decision may terrify us, especially when we look at what we're deciding to do. Making a decision, any decision, is something most of us haven't done in a long time. We've had our decisions made for us by our addiction, by the authorities or just by default, because we didn't want the responsibility of deciding anything for ourselves. That's fucking powerful, you know. You know. You know what way are we behaving? In ways that is not serving us and it's just like a carrot, you know that's like, and we're the horse and we're being led around the track by this fucking carrot. Thank God my whole life isn't like that, but there's certainly different parts of my life that I have to work on, you know, because I don't want the responsibility of accepting not knowing the truth vaguely, but accepting the truth and accepting the fact that I have to change these things. Yeah, yeah, that's very, that's tough, okay.
Speaker 1:When we add to this the concept of entrusting the care of our will and of our lives to something that most of us don't understand, at this point we may just think this whole thing is beyond us and start looking for a shortcut or an easier way to work our programs. That makes sense, you know, when it doesn't work right away and I have to put the work in on a daily basis and I don't get the results right away, then all of a sudden I start looking for, yeah, shortcuts. How can I get around putting in the work? How can I get around this? How can I do that? I think that's just our natural inclination to be lazy versus, like, enjoying the suffering of doing the work and getting the reward which I do in some areas of my life. I just have to. It's always suffering for me because I don't want to be responsible, just like I just said. But you know, here I'm making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of the goodness that will come on the inside of me, knowing I'm being responsible, and me knowing that I'm doing the right thing for myself, not just doing whatever makes me feel good, because avoiding life is what makes me feel good in the moment. That's the deal. You know who the fuck doesn't want to do that.
Speaker 1:Why do you think people get surgeries and why do you think people do this? And you know what's the next the get-rich-quick stuff. You know, when I was away with my guy, ruben, who I just met six months ago you know he has a wildly successful business in the same business that I'm in. So we are in the same business but we are not competition, you know, not at all. And you know he I explained, I gave, gave him. He watched how I ran my business, I watched how he ran his and there's definitely things I can learn from him. I mean, this guy, he's a heavy hitter and there's things that he can learn from me. And he told me he's like dude, you have it figured out, you got it. You got it. You're doing all this stuff, man, you're doing so much work and you're doing this and you don't. You don't spend a dollar, not one dollar in advertising. I'm like no, not one. You know. He's like that's amazing, you know, yeah, so let's get back.
Speaker 1:These thoughts are dangerous. Well, looking for easier, softer way is dangerous. These thoughts are dangerous, for when we take shortcuts in our program or our life, we short circuit our recovery, slash our happiness. The third step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the third step and the dangerous thinking for which those fears lead can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of smaller, separate hurdles. The third step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our addiction.
Speaker 1:Making the third step decision doesn't necessarily mean that we must suddenly completely change everything about the way we live our lives. I think that's very important too. You know when people, especially again around new years, and you know different forks in the road of their life now I'm going to be fucking vegan. Now I'm going to do cold plunge. Now I'm going to do sauna. Now I'm going to stop gambling. Now I'm going to invest in like you know it's got to be. Like you know, as I always say, like a ship can't turn on a dime, it's got to be a little bit at a time. A little bit at a time. And it's painstaking because you know the results don't happen right away. But you start to make these. You start to make, take these different actions one day at a time and all of a sudden your life changes and it takes months for the life to change for you to see the result. And when you see the result it becomes undeniable that the little work that you've been doing has had a huge impact. You know you're more likely to relapse on old behaviors if you try to just cut everything down in one shot now.
Speaker 1:If it's a life threatening thing like drugs, alcohol, whatever, or a happiness no, I wouldn't say happiness threatening, let's just say you know you have a food problem a lot of us, do you know we? You have a food problem A lot of us, do you know we wrestle with it, man, the way that they. It's not 100% our fault, but it is 100% our responsibility and that's very, very real. You know they put all this I don't want to go into my fucking make America healthy again. All this. I don't want to go into my fucking make America healthy Again, fucking rant, bobby Kennedy, my boy, um, but yeah, we know that the food has been poisoned forever. Straight up and down it's been fucking poison. And uh, you know, and you know it's designed to have you reach for more, because that's how they fucking make money. It's not designed for nourishment, like when they say the fact that there's a healthy food section of the supermarket is telling you everything you need to know. Right.
Speaker 1:Then they used to say, when I first started on the food responsibility journey, when I first started on that you know, they would say when you go shopping in the grocery store, just stay on the perimeter. All the stuff that you need and all the good stuff is all around the perimeter. The shit that's in the aisles will fucking kill you. But the problem is the shit that's in the aisles tastes so good and it rings so many bells inside your brain Like oh my God, endorphin, oh my God, the sugar rush, the this, the that Do you get from carbs? You know, listen, I can eat a plate of pasta and I will be high while I'm eating it, because I don't eat it that often and then I'll crash and then I'll feel fat and then I'll be fat. That's why I stay away from that stuff as best I can. Now, the last few days I've been eating bread here and there and that's going to fucking. That's all going to stop.
Speaker 1:You know, I was away. I mean I did good, but I had some desserts. Listen, I get to treat myself for a couple of days and not beat myself up. I still went to the gym when I was away. I still meditate, I still did all my shit. I didn't go to any meetings. I was only away for a couple of days, but I didn't stray too far from the path. I just you myself had a little bit of creme brulee, some key lime pie, a couple of muffins over the course of a few days. That's like straying for me.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, but you know these thoughts are dangerous. The fact that me thinking that they won't lead to a habit that I already crawled my way out of is delusion. You know, I get a little bit of relief when I ring one of those bells the food bell, the pornography bell. Those are the only bells I really have. I don't have any other bells. But the absence of what did I say? The absence of pain, is not help. So I got to be careful with that kind of stuff because I just feel better about. It's a difference between feeling better in the moment versus feeling better about myself. Like I don't feel better about myself if I indulge in those things in an unhealthy way. You know what I'm saying In an unhealthy way, yeah, so that's why you know you got a little bit out of time. You got to just say, ok, I'm going to start cutting down, I'm going to make these changes, I'm going to make these changes, I'm going to make these changes. All right, where were we? Okay, here we are.
Speaker 1:Fundamental changes in our lives. What am I saying? Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don't have to be afraid that this step will do something for us that we are not ready for or won't like. It is significant that this step suggests that we turn our will and our lives over to the care of a God of our understanding. You can be mad at God if you want. You can have your own God. That's like. The freedom that these programs give you is that you can be mad at God. If you want, you can have your own God. That's like the freedom that these programs give you is that you can literally have your own God.
Speaker 1:I listened to the speaker and he shared some very important things for me. So, like there's a lot of atheists in recovery Not a lot, a lot, but there's a lot there's a lot of atheists on Earth and they're like oh, and this guy, his opinion, which I share is that that same God that somebody else doesn't believe in. I don't believe in that one either. So I'm with you. You know what I mean. I don't believe in him either. I have my own. I have my own inner, my own inner higher power, that voice that's inside of me that can only be brought out with connection to the rest of you. You know that wants me to feel good, wants me to be good, wants me to do good, wants me to be happy. The person you see when I'm next to you. It's not an act, it's who I am. I overheard somebody saying a few weeks ago that I give good hugs. It made me feel nice. They didn't know that I hurt them, but it's because they're genuine. It's nice. Keep going.
Speaker 1:It is significant that this step suggests we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as a God of our understanding.
Speaker 1:That means your own personal higher power in the areas of your life that you need help. This is what you need to do. These words are particularly important. By working the third step, we are allowing someone or something to care for us, not control us, not conduct our lives for us, but to care for us. This step does not suggest that we become mindless robots with no ability to live our own lives, nor does it allow those who find such irresponsibility attractive to indulge such an urge. Yeah, that means you can't let everything go and say, well, fuck it, I'm just going to sit here on the couch and God is going to provide. Go and say, well, fuck it, I'm just going to sit here on the couch and God is going to provide. Like no, god provides you the opportunity to make what you ever want. Make whatever you want out of your own life. He gives you life every day and it's like you know what is this guy. Whatever, j Prince, every day you wake up with a chance and then you gotta make a choice. It's very important, you know.
Speaker 1:Instead, we are making a simple decision to change our direction, to stop rebelling at the natural and logical flow of events in our lives. To stop wearing ourselves out trying to make everything happen as if we were in charge of the world and logical flow of events in our lives. To stop wearing ourselves out trying to make everything happen as if we were in charge of the world. We are accepting that a power greater than ourselves will do a much better job of caring for our will and our lives than we have. In some area of your life you're fucking crushing it. You're doing great Most and let's say it's 85% of the area. You're fucking happy In what area? But there's something that we can all work on and this is how you do it. We're accepting that a power greater than ourselves will do a better job in caring for our will and our lives than we have. That's so important I had to read it twice. We are furthering the spiritual process of recovery by beginning to explore what we are understanding the word God means to us as individuals.
Speaker 1:So who can you lean on during that moment when you're going to reach for the fucking donut or when you're going to think about playing footsie or googly eyes with somebody outside your relationship. In a more than passing way, you're robbing yourself. You know you need to ask for help and say, hey look, I need to remember that this kind of behavior doesn't serve me and it actually takes me away from who I really want to be. I want to be healthy and happy, not just elation and joy in the moment. And I, you know, I wake up every day. You know, I know a couple of things, as my sponsor says all the time that I'm an alcoholic and I'm in deep shit. I don't live this life, I'm in deep shit. Man, you will not recognize my attitude. I stray away from the path, you know, and that's just the way that it goes. That's just the way that it goes. That's just the way that it goes. I'm going to continue In this step.
Speaker 1:Each one of us will have to come to some conclusion about what we think God means. Our understanding doesn't have to be complex or complete. Complete is a big word. It doesn't have to be like anyone else's. We may discover that we're very sure what God isn't for us, but not what God is, and that's okay. The only thing that is essential is that we begin to search. Hmm, we begin a search. I said to search a search. Same shit. I love the searching, the seeking, it seeking is everything that will allow us to further our understanding as our recovery continues. Our concept of God will grow as we grow in our recovery. Working the third step will help us discover what works best for us.
Speaker 1:Nice, we're going to stop there. Let me fold the falcon page, bo, let me fold the page, you know. Yeah, next week we're going to talk about making a decision and about self-will. You know, there's happiness out there, like real happiness, not happy because I have a Lambo, or happy because there's no bombs going off, or happy because I paid all my bills on time, or happy because my kids are okay. That's not like real happy, that's just life Happy as I'm happy with who I am. You know, and I think that's important.
Speaker 1:I was talking with my wife. She asked me not to talk about her on the show and I'm not talking about her. So I'm just going to talk about a situation that occurred where we just have a different way of looking at life and it's because I have this program and, uh, I am who I am and she makes she pokes fun at me, but in a loving way, my wife is everything on earth. If you're a new listener, there is no competition. She is everything on earth to me. So sorry, I'm just getting my papers together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know she was like, oh, you did this thing, I did something, whatever I did, and she's like it reminded me of these other things that you've done that are the same behavior and and all this other shit, whatever it was Right. And then so we start, you know, having a discussion about it and her thinking about this situation. She was angry, but it wasn't happening in the moment. She was reliving something that happened in a way that I used to be and it wasn't like it was about like some stupid money stuff. You know that I used to be. Really I used to have a different attitude towards money, especially when it came to my family. So she's asking me about stuff and I was like, look those arguments that we had six months ago. Even if it was six, it wasn't, it was years ago. But if we have an argument, I don't know, three weeks ago or a month ago, I cannot recall what that whole thing was about. Who said what? Whatever, you texted me this. I said you can pull up the receipts and I'll be happy to discuss with you.
Speaker 1:But I have a way of not avoiding but of letting go of, you know, things that other people do to me within reason. I mean, there's some things I've still yet to let go of completely. You know I've still yet to let go of completely. You know I've mentioned this before, but somebody stole my headphones from my locker when I was 13 years old at Kakiat in the seventh grade, and then I saw him with them and I didn't do anything. And let me tell you there's not many times that that happened, either A, that somebody took something, or B, that I did nothing. But they both happened on the same day. And let me tell you, if I saw him now, 30 years later, if I'm not in a good spot, I might want to fight that kid, and that's the truth. But as a way of life, you know, I don't. I let go of this stuff. I let it go.
Speaker 1:So when she's asking me like how could you, when you remember something that I that, that somebody else did, how are you not mad in the moment, I was like, because I don't even think about something that somebody did that's already gone. I'm not going to ruin this moment by doing that to myself. So in order to not ruin this moment or any other moments going forward, I need to get rid of that shit. You know, it doesn't mean that I don't let them off the hook, but I'm not like angry. I was like, look, I'll have a moment of frustration. You're asking me about something. Like, yeah, I remember, like, hey, look, this person did this, this and this, but I'm not holding on to anything because it's not going to be 10 years worth of anger happening in one argument. It's not how it works.
Speaker 1:And I told her I said, and I meant it, and she was like flabbergasted. I was like I am unbothered by those arguments, those mistakes, whatever you said to me in the moment back then. And I said I will guarantee. I can't guarantee and that's funny, I was talking to Yariv about this today I said I can't guarantee, I can't ask God to strike me down if I didn't apologize, you know, a year ago, for something that I said in the middle of an argument out of frustration. I'm very sure that I apologized about it. It'd be likely that I more than likely 95% that I did. But but just in case the possibility that I didn't, I can make an amends to you right here, right now. I can say sorry right now If you're still angry about it now, I know, guaranteed 100%. I said sorry. That's the only way to do it, and not just say sorry but say hey, look, in that moment I said this thing.
Speaker 1:I remember saying whatever you said, that I said, or whatever it was. I remember saying that because it triggered, you know, a very cinematic response. So I was like, oh man, don't step on that button again. But I can say, look, I didn't mean that, because then it turns into what you some people, and not always her believe that what you say in the midst of frustration is something that you've been thinking and feeling for a long time. But now you can say it.
Speaker 1:And I don't believe that, because that's not how I am. You know, maybe I was like that at one point in my life. I'm not sure. I'm not like that now. What happens is in the midst of frustration, if I feel backed into a corner whether it's really happening or I'm imagining it I'm going to impulsively say something that will make you fucking back off. That's what it will be. It will be a verbal slap.
Speaker 1:Most of the time, 95% of the time, I don't even mean it. What I mean for you to do Is to stop fucking with me, because now I'm getting upset. You know what I mean. So I don't believe that. Not that there's what, like I wasn't concocting this Statement For five years and I couldn't believe that. That that there's what I'd. Like I wasn't concocting this statement for five years and I couldn't wait to say it to let her. Let her know, you know.
Speaker 1:So I'm like no, I don't. You know, I don't believe that, and it's okay if you do. There's no, you know, you have a different way of looking at life, a different lifestyle in that way than I have, you know, and that's fine. She's like you're angry right now. I said, no, I had a few, you know, maybe I'm frustrated because you're not understanding that I don't see things the way that you do, that I see things in a very positive light, you know. But I can understand, because she doesn't have a method in order to change her perspective and most people don't, you know, most people. It's like you know, one strike, you're out. It's like, yeah, they had a bad moment. That's what I believe when my wife says something that's fucked up or somebody else, then they had a bad moment. It's okay. You say sorry, it all goes away, I promise, because I've had so many bad moments and I remember them, which is why I don't hold anybody to the fucking to the highest standard. I've had so many of them, you know, and people have forgiven me and even if they haven't forgiven me, I've changed and I don't do that anymore. So the next person in my life will never experience that, you know, and that's it. It's similar to what we're talking about with step three.
Speaker 1:I made that decision that I'm going to start changing the way that I behave and in turn, it changes the way that I feel and the way that I live. Like I have an incredible life. You know, I'm not stressed out about anything. I have things that will come in and out of my mind as worries, like I worry about my kids. You know, that's really it, and I just worry because I worry about my wife, because I want her to be happy, because I'm happy, I want her to be healthy, and and that's it.
Speaker 1:You know, money doesn't buy happiness. I've had it. Some would say I have it now. I don't think I have. I don't know what I have. I know I'm very comfortable, but more than that, I know that I'm happy. You know, I don't really need any more than what I have. How many filet mignons can you eat in one day? I don't need to travel somewhere else to have a different experience.
Speaker 1:I love the life that I'm living now, even in my mind the fantasy mind you know the fantasy mind. You know meaning that when I talk to people and they describe to me shows and things that they watch on television, I don't watch any of that stuff ever. My life is so good to me that I don't need any escape. I can't even imagine for two hours watching some fictitious show to invoke some emotions that will make me feel better because I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad and I'm not saying everybody feels bad, but I just I don't. I naturally don't have that need.
Speaker 1:It's like oh, I got, I got to watch this show. They'll be like oh, this thing is like fucking three seasons. I'm like are you fucking joking right now? Three seasons? Think about that. Let's say there's 10 episodes and it's an hour each episode. That's 30 hours, bro, 30 hours. So you want one hour, one whole hour a night for 30 nights for me to watch some shit that is not even real. Nah, dog, that ain't it for me. Nah, dog, that ain't it for me. Now I'll watch.
Speaker 1:I'm, my wife and I are watching all the graham hancock stuff because we believe in that, and he's traveling the world and he's saying, okay, look at these, you know, uh, look at these ancient artifacts and this other stuff that's really real. I'll go do that, I'll watch that. I'm not gonna watch some fucking fake cia agent or some other bullshit. Yeah, it's just not, you know, yeah, it's not fascinating to me. I can watch. I love watching nat geo wild, you know, as long as it's not the show where they're doing the surgery on the animals.
Speaker 1:But whatever, what I'm saying is that I've arrived in an emotional and spiritual state that the disruptions in my life are because there are too many people who want me to show up as my best self in their world and I only have so many hours in a day and I have to prioritize that, whether it's my clients, whether it's my family, whether it's the polar bears, whether it's people in AA, all kind of stuff. You know, it can only be so many things to so many people. That's a good problem to have versus motherfuckers that don't want you around, so share, subscribe to our YouTube channel. We're also, obviously, on all podcast platforms of Sober Experience. I'm going to get back on the horn, so we'll make sure to go back to doing regularly, regularly scheduled episodes and if I see you guys in the street, give me a big old hug. All right, I love you, peace.