The Sober Experience
Recovery and mental health, spirituality and life. We will be sitting down with people in and out of recovery who have helpful tips and shared experiences to provide better love and understanding on this earth. There will be a wide veriaty of topics discussed and after each interview there will be another reflection episode where I can analyze what we spoke of and what sticks to mind.
The Sober Experience
Humor and Heart: Stories of Boundaries and Connection
Ever feel like you're drowning in the demands of others, unable to say no without guilt? Join us as we tackle this universal struggle through the lens of a heartfelt call from a friend who's had enough of overextending himself. We unpack the delicate art of saying no with compassion, exploring the deeper issues that might drive us to use service as a distraction from our own lives. This episode is a beacon for anyone caught in the tug-of-war between self-care and helping others, offering insights that help strike a healthier balance.
Find out how a simple meditation practice can revolutionize your emotional equilibrium and communication with loved ones. Through personal stories, including an eye-opening visit to our mom's house, we dive into how neglecting mindfulness can lead to feelings of unreciprocated effort and emotional strain. We also address the sometimes tricky dynamics of family interactions, highlighting the necessity of self-communication as a foundation for improving relationships. This segment is a must-listen for those seeking to enhance their mental well-being and interpersonal connections.
Wrap up with us on a lighter note as we share some humorous and poignant family stories. Picture a feisty little cousin standing up to her bullies with scissors, and navigate the murky waters of financial independence in marriage. Through these tales, we highlight the importance of empathy, understanding, and compromise in maintaining healthy relationships. To cap it all off, we delve into the power of faith and spiritual growth, sharing how a conscious connection with God and community has been instrumental in our personal development and recovery. Tune in for a heartfelt journey through life's ups and downs, filled with valuable lessons on boundaries, communication, and spiritual well-being.
Welcome back. Sober experience. You know the deal Trying to vibe out, keep it positive. A lot of craziness going on, turn that up a little bit. Oh yeah, I may hear those strings, so dope. Yeah, what's up everybody, welcome back. I hope you guys have been enjoying your summer. And here we are, and here we are. Yeah, man, it's been pretty eventful for me and you know, we're back at it, bro, we're back at it. You know, work is just work, life is just life, whatever. You know, I was thinking. I'm always thinking, but I was thinking and I had a buddy of mine call me yesterday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was, like you know, in the middle of the shit, I guess, overextending himself to his friends, his family, everybody. You know people, they're asking for stuff and he doesn't know how to say no and I think that it's a very. They teach us in recovery. First off, like and subscribe on all podcast platforms, don't forget to share our stories or all of our stuff with all your friends. But learning how to say no to people, it's very uncomfortable, extremely, extremely Uncomfortable, you know. But it's something that we have to do, all of us have to do it, you know, and not no with Like a fuck you no, but just like no with love, like I can't, I can't do it, you know. And then so, when he called me, like no with love, like I can't do it, you know. And then so, when he called me and he asked me about this, honestly I don't even need to know the particulars of the situation most of the time, but he was like, you know, whatever List is full, I'm doing this for this person, I'm doing this for this person. And then he starts talking about, like you know, sometimes it feels like, even though it's, maybe it is, maybe it isn't, I don't know it feels like it's a little bit of one-way traffic, if that makes any sense, when you're really I'm not even going to say trying to be of service. You know, whatever your motivation is to try and help people or try and be there for people Sometimes number one, it's a way of running away from yourself if you're not careful.
Speaker 1:I tend to do that. Yeah, there's always stuff in my life that's a little bit that needs attention, that I am avoiding. To go do something Not always for somebody else, typically for, like my kids or my wife or whatever. Yeah, but there's always something and it's a very impulsive sense of relief to go and help somebody else when there's shit that needs to get cleaned up in your life. You can get stuck in that cycle of like well, I avoid this by doing that and, even though it's a positive thing, yeah, you're helping somebody, and then you start to surround yourself with people who you could help, and that's a good way of like never addressing what you need to address. And then what happens nine out of 10 times is that the people who you're helping in the way that you're helping them, they cannot help you in the same way. Right, they just can't, because if they could, they wouldn't need your help In the first place. So here we are. Now. You're like, oh, I don't understand. Then you pull out the scorecard. I don't understand, I'm doing this, I'm doing that and they're doing this, you know.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, first question that I asked him, which was an important one, was about his meditation practice. How was it? You know, yeah, how was his meditation practice? And he's like, yeah, it's been lacking, it's been this, it's been that. I'm like, okay, well then, here we are. You know what I'm saying. Here we are Because, you know, I was talking about that at a meeting a couple of weeks ago already.
Speaker 1:A lot of people think I'm like this kind of like spiritual guru. You know, yeah and no, I am not. I just have some experience, mostly with stuff that doesn't work, you know. So when I asked him about it, I knew that if you're overextended and you're feeling the way that you're feeling, that, like you know, people are not reciprocating, you're not getting what you feel you deserve. That word deserve is like it's a fucking four letter word. You know it really is.
Speaker 1:So Then I know that meditation is off, because meditation is linked to all of that stuff taking time for yourself, typically in the morning. You know, I have to. I tell you guys all the time I'm a very high maintenance guy. You gotta get up in the morning and when that routine is broken then we got something else going on. You know, then I'm a little bit of a fucking Krabby Patty. So how does meditation help you from overextending yourself and placing yourself in a position to be hurt? It doesn't matter if they hurt you, but you always place yourself in a position. If you're not in that position, you can't get hurt, right? So a percentage of what's going on in your life is because of you.
Speaker 1:So what happens is, um and I shared this with him was that I learned, you know, because people, uh, you know, people really think that getting spiritual and getting in touch with god is. They do that through meditation, and maybe some of you guys do. I think it's bullshit, not the God part, but not the meditative part. We're like, oh, I'm getting closer to God when I meditate, I think I'm getting closer to myself. Sorry, I'm folding up a couple of dollar bills. They're singles, so yeah, so, so no meditation, I'm getting closer to myself, I'm having conversations with myself, and when I'm meditating or when I'm doing something in a meditative state, there's nobody else involved in the physical. Now, if I'm listening to whatever I'm listening to, then yes, that is involved. But basically I'm learning or I'm practicing how to just take a moment and do nothing.
Speaker 1:So, without practicing that all the time on a very, very, very, very consistent basis, what happens when I'm approached with something? I respond, react impulsively, first thing that comes to my mind. Yeah, sure, I can do that. Oh, yeah, it sounds like a good idea. Like all these other, you know there's I haven't practiced to take a pause, so guess what? When then I really can't take a pause, you know so that's. And then when I do take a pause, then I I can take other actions or take other steps in whatever the situation is, and that's how I get closer to God, by living that kind of life. You know what I'm saying. I had to practice a bunch of that. Holy shit. Hold on, I gotta, um, I gotta take, take something off. So I'm very hot, stand by, okay, we're back, yeah. So, yeah, I had to practice that.
Speaker 1:You know I went, I went up to my mom's house and, um, you know, visiting family is like you, like you know you're, it's like pulling a, uh, pulling a rock out of the dirt. You don't even know what's going to be under there, right? So it's me and some of my cousins, uh, my family, my immediate family, decided they didn't want to come, which is totally fine. They don't have to, uh, they don't have to go anywhere or do anything, which is very cool. So, swimming, chilling and man, right, A couple things going on.
Speaker 1:One, I got two stories on how I handled it and how it went good in one sense and didn't go good in another sense in some ways. So, you know, one of my cousins is is there, and they're there with their girlfriend and whatever. They're cool. You know, I met the girl before she came to my wedding. She's a beautiful kid, you know. I'm saying and they uh, meaning the two of them.
Speaker 1:So like, like other young people, because they're in college, and if you have been with somebody for I don't know a couple years, maybe two years apparently, uh, or whatever, or one year when you're in college, it's like a fucking lifetime. So they're in the stage of their life where I call it like playing house, but they have it all figured out, you know, and they're talking to me in a way that young people talk when they have it all figured out, like when they say they're talking to me in a way that young people talk when they have it all figured out, like when they say very things that to me would be very silly but to them is like a badge of honor. Or now they're, like you know, preaching from the mountaintop. They're like, yeah, you know they're talking about their relationship and how they are. You know, young people, man, like I love it. I love it. It's not just inexperience. Yeah, man, we have so much open communication. Communication is key. That's everything Communication, communication, communication. And in my mind. I feel like you know, okay, what about communication with your motherfucking self before you communicate with somebody else that you love and that you care about? But they're like, nah, you know, I didn't really try to get into that. You know cause they're asking me about different things? Cause I've been with my wife for a long time. You know, one of the most, you know, important parts of my life is a successful relationship of love with another human being. You know love and respect and you stay together and yeah. So these guys got maybe two years in. I got like almost 11 years in, right or whatever. It is 11, 12. It's a long time to be with one person. I know some of you guys have been with your partners for longer than that, congratulations, so you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So when you meet these young folks and they're just like going off on things, like they're A, either bragging or B, they're like trying to teach you something. You know, because you know what do I always say? Like they're trying to teach me something, like it's new to me. I know because I used to do that. So it's like a sense where, like dude, I'm open to learn from any and everybody, but don't try to fucking teach me anything, if that makes any sense, you know anyway. So they're like yeah, you know what is one of the? So they they tell me that like, oh, we've only been in two arguments, or she only lost her cool one time, or this, or that. I'm like okay, it's like, you know, I get it, it's cool, and I'm just like I'm being nice, I'm being receptive and whatever.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, one of the examples that they give is that when they have an argument, or they had an argument, and then my cousin was like you're obviously upset, I'm upset, I'm gonna step out, I'm gonna leave and I'll be back, or whatever it was. And the girl was like, oh, you're going to leave, that's what you're going to do. Like you know, I was like, oh, this girl feels immature I shouldn't say immature Inexperienced. She feels threatened by that. She's like no, no, no, no, no, you're going to sit here and we're gonna work this out right now, even if we sit in silence, you don't leave in an argument.
Speaker 1:And I was like whoa, whoa, you know, I was like dude, that is very fucking one or two stripe white belt Mentality that you're having an argument and you're both fuming and you're going to sit there with all that bad energy Just doing that's what you're going to do. You're not going to allow the other person Some space To maybe get some perspective, to ask for some help, to do whatever To just break the cycle Of the Of your mental Fucking Wonder wheel spinning around. And you're looking at the other person yeah, that's like very yeah, when you're 20 or 21, or 22. Or whatever, or 32. That's how you think you know and uh, yeah, yeah, so I didn't know how to be like dude, that sounds very fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:If you, if you think of us, that's not, that's not something you should be proud about, you know, it's not something you should be proud of at all, you know, then it's actually something you should take a look at. That you are. There's no re. You're trying to either control the other person or there's no reason for you to not let them leave for a day, for two days or for half a, whatever an hour. That means that you have some unresolved abandonment issues that are going to really, you know, come through. You know, because being in a relationship means that, like, you got to give up a little bit, which means that you have to respect the other person's process. Maybe the other person, their process, is that, no, they need to step away before they say something that they don't want to say or do something they don't want to do. And then you can't unring some of these bells. When you ring them, you know what I'm saying, you just can't.
Speaker 1:So when they're asking me about that, there's like what was one of the keys, almost like what advice would I give without telling them about themselves and how stupid they are? I allowed them to be like delusional to some degree, and this is something that I learned as being a parent and being in recovery, but mostly from being a parent is that, like yo, I don't have to take the opportunity to jump on every you know I'm not going to say bad idea but every idea. I know that doesn't work. I don't have to take the. I don't have to jump on every opportunity and be like, no, that's a stupid thing because of blah, blah, blah. You know to be like a. You know, yeah, to be a little bit preachy, a little bit arrogant. There's no humility in that.
Speaker 1:So I allow, I've learned to allow my kids to be delusional, my kids to be delusional, so they find out a little bit more on their own. I don't let them go all the way off the fucking rails, but I allow them to be a little bit delusional so that way they feel like they matter and then when they realize that there's an error, then the opportunity because I gave somebody that space for them to come back into the fold is there. The opportunity is not there if I'm not setting the stage to welcome them back to fucking planet Earth and that includes me too, because guess what? Sometimes, uh, their delusion will teach me something. Like dude, I guess I thought this shit and I was all wrong, right. So that's what I shared with them, with these two ladies, and I was like dude.
Speaker 1:What I learned how to do is to give my wife space, space to be in the moment, out of the moment, like that mental and emotional space when I'm not saying or doing anything and not only am I listening but I'm like validating by listening. So I'm not just listening and just being quiet, I'm listening attentively, I'm letting her work out whatever that is. That was my way of telling them that you shouldn't fucking tell my cousin that she can't leave if you get in an argument and she's got to sit there with you like a fucking baby, because that's what I felt like saying. But that wasn't it. So it was nice.
Speaker 1:And guess what, without meditation on a daily, regular basis even if it's not, it's pretty much daily Like I'm not in the space of catching myself from letting everybody know how fucking smart I am, I won't be in that space. You know, I'll be like what you fucking, that's you. You know. So, using all the trigger words, you know, start using all the trigger words Gaslighting and all the other shit. You know narcissist, you know all of that stuff, those buzzwords, it's like no man, they're just human, they're scared humans. That's how we make these boundaries. Out of fear, you know. Out of fear, that's how we make these boundaries. So it was like you know no fear, that's how we make these boundaries. So it was like you know.
Speaker 1:So the other part of that day was you know, I have a little cousin, a little little one, maybe she's eight or nine, and I fucking love this little girl. I never knew how much of like a girl dad kind of person I would be. I knew with my goddaughter Because I love her so much. My goddaughter man, I do, you know. We just I don't know, we have like a clash of personalities, you know, and that's okay, that's okay, so either way. But I love so little Puerto Rican girl, seven or eight years old, with her little glasses. She's the best. I fucking love this little girl. She's my cousin's kid, anyway.
Speaker 1:Apparently she's like a little tough ass and her mom has been, was telling me, was telling us that like it's hard for her to keep friends because she's, you know, she's young, so she's very blunt. You know, some kids are not and she happens to be blunt. So, like you know, some girl apparently sat next to her and was like, and she said to her like hey, listen, move your chair, because your breath it fucking it stinks. I started laughing. It's rude, but little kids are rude, you know, and that's okay, you know you can say, hey, that's not very nice, you can just offer them gum, whatever, anyway. So the background of this story is that, like you know, kids are mean because people are mean and kids are little people, and that's just how it goes.
Speaker 1:And little girls are the freaking worst. I know because I had an older sister and they were animals to each other. It's so crazy, but that's how it was anyway. So it's a group of girls. They're spreading rumors about my little cousin that she likes this boy or whatever. She kissed this boy or some other shit like embarrassing her around the rumor mill. And you know, my little cousin, she whatever, she got so mad, dude.
Speaker 1:She rolled up to these two girls I guess two of them or three of them. So, man, dude, she rolled up to these two girls I guess two of them or three of them and she pulled out a pair of scissors and she took a chunk out of each one of these girls hair. It's like and, bro, I'm still laughing about it right now. I was like, oh my God, that's fucking incredible. Yeah, just roll up like mean girl style or whatever, take a snip out of this bitch's hair. Now you know not to fucking run your mouth about me, because that's what did you think? Nothing was gonna happen because they're bullying her.
Speaker 1:You know, it wasn't an impulsive thing, it's a little calculating, probably. And I was just like good for you, mama, don't take no shit. And and then, and not knowing anything, right, Meanwhile her mom is like no, no, you don't understand. That's like a very, very fucking bad thing. She shouldn't be doing that and whatever. I was like yo, whatever it's like, if her mom comes around, if the other girl's mom comes, she should beat her mom's ass. That's it because the kids are bully, right, mom's ass. That's it Cause they're cause the kids are bully, right.
Speaker 1:So I can't wait to go home and tell my wife this story, right, I just can't wait Cause it's the funniest shit ever. I'm thinking about her and I'm like good for you, I like I love. I love when people stand up for themselves. I fucking do, because it's just, I just do. You know, there's plenty of times in my life where I did not do it and there's plenty of times when I did do it. And it always takes like a lot to do, like you got to be brave. Even if you're going to go do the wrong thing, like chop off somebody's shit, you got to be brave. So I go home, I tell my wife the story. I was like oh, let me tell you the fucking. You guys want to laugh. This is the funniest story ever.
Speaker 1:So I tell my wife and my little one the story and even my little one was like and like almost smiled and my wife was just like oh, my God, that's like so terrible. And she was like I can't believe that you were egging her on. You think that's funny? It's not funny. What she did was not funny. It's not funny. It's like bro, they're fucking bullying her man, they're talking mad shit or whatever. I was like dude, it's just fucking hair, they're just mad shit. All the whatever. I was like dude, it's just fucking hair, they're just doing that. And my wife was like bro, no way like that, she's all the way wrong. And that's like there's something, there's something ill there that she did that. You know it doesn't mean my, my little, my little boo cousin is a bad person, but that's pent up anger, that's whatever. That is Right. So I'm like all right.
Speaker 1:I guess you know it's almost like telling a fucking bad joke. You know Like. You know, the one I would tell when I was a teenager was you know what do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You told her twice already and that was funny when I was like 13. It's not funny now. But you know it's an off colored remark, it's an off colored joke. I thought it was going to go over, I thought I was going to kill with that story and I brought home two bags of fucking rice and whatever and, yeah, poured water. I'm like, yeah, what do I know? What do I know?
Speaker 1:And a day later my wife is like you know, I still can't believe you found that funny. It's like it's very demeaning, it's very degrading for a woman to have somebody just go boom and cut their head. She's like it's and in my mind I'm like dude, what are you? What the fuck are you saying? Because I don't get it and I guess I don't need to get it. But you know, she was like.
Speaker 1:I was actually up for an hour and a half thinking about how crazy you are for thinking that that's okay. I was like, all right, now you're getting fucking crazy. Now you need to calm down. You know, I was like dude, I don't know she was like, and then she explained to me what a woman's hair means to them, even when they're little, why it means. What it means I don't know, and I think maybe that's a difference between men and women Is that I will never know. I wasn't, never that I don't have any hair now and I loved my hair when I had it, but I was never like attached to it like that, where, like somebody played a fucking joke on me and shaved a piece of it off and I had to shave the rest and grow it back like I would not be yeah, I would not be traumatized for that, but apparently it's a traumatizing thing.
Speaker 1:And, uh, I was open to learn, you know, and it was because she wasn't trying to fucking teach me a lesson, she was just trying to be like, listen, you know, that ain't right. I was like, okay, alright, I said what would you rather that we go get Lili or somebody to go over there and beat the shit out of this girl, these other girls couple, little smaller girl cousins we got floating around somewhere? Is that what you know? You can't let the bullying continue. I'm not all about what the let's tell the school, let's, whatever. So I was taught a nice lesson. It was a good one. It was a good one, you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, lastly, lastly. So yeah, lastly, lastly, you know, when I had gotten into the last argument with my wife, which was not that long ago, maybe a month, maybe two months, it was about money. But it wasn't about money, but it was about, you know, that my wife can do whatever she wants with any of the money the kids cannot. In a nutshell In the moment, while we were having this argument you know how it came about, yeah, you know how it came about. Yeah, I, you know I.
Speaker 1:The likelihood of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is very high. You know when I'm, when I'm in those moments when I'm like, hey, listen, I don't like this. As a man, you are very you got to put all your fucking, you got to say all your prayers Like Hulk Hogan, eat your vitamins and say your prayers before you step to your wife and say, listen, I need to have a talk with you Because I don't like this thing that's going on, whatever, because, bro, everybody has their own process. So, anyway, you know you run the risk of, you know, being spun around in a circle, even if they're not trying to, because you're so nervous because now they started being spun around in a circle, even if they're not trying to because you're so nervous because now they started. Then there's no woman on earth that I've yet to meet, even my own mama. So this is not like some kind of fucking anti-woman rant. There's no woman I've ever met that you say, yo, I don't like this shit. And they're like, okay, sorry, no, it never happens at all, like it doesn't happen. If they say, all right, yeah, fine, that means that they're just searching for some other shit to fucking throw at you, or they're gonna ignore what you're saying, them saying like the words I am sorry you were right. Whoosh, son, yeah, no, so, um, I'm saying this to say that you know we had this little thing.
Speaker 1:And then, so you know, she has now been on this mission where I try to give her money. She's like no, I don't want it. She has her own money. She's on payroll for, you know, a couple bucks. I'm like yo here, take this. She's like no, I don't want it. I'm like what the fuck is that? You know I don't want it. No, if I send her money, she'll send it back to me. I'm like dude, we're married. What the fuck is wrong with you? Right? So I'm having this.
Speaker 1:So I tell you know, now I have to have this talk with Yariv, right? I give him a call. I'm like listen, you know, after I cycle through a bunch of it myself because I impulsively, I don't automatically respond to her sending money back or doing whatever with, like you know, I'll be like oh, you're going to be mad for fucking three months now, and I don't even go down that rabbit hole. I just be like, oh, you're going to be mad for fucking three months now. I don't even go down that rabbit hole. I just be like, okay, cool, you know. Some ways I'm like who the fuck you know? Hey, shit, more money for me. That's not the way that I think you know.
Speaker 1:So I call my sponsor and I bring this to him. I'm like, listen, this is what happened, this is what's going on. He knew about the argument when it happened and he knew about her rejecting the money and I was like dude, I feel like rejected, like this is part of the way that I like rejecting the money. And I was like dude, I feel like rejected, like this is part of the way that I like love you, so I take care of you in ways when not saying that you can't take care of yourself, but like a little extra, like hey, look, go for the massage, here's 200. Here's, go, do this, go, do that. Here's another couple of hundo, whatever, any extra thing I have, I I think about them first, my kids and my wife, you know. And um, yeah, man really hurts my feelings. And she's just like no, I don't fucking, I don't want it. I'm like phew.
Speaker 1:So then we have this and guess what that thing is breathing for like maybe a week, a week and a half, and then, yeah, then we have a conversation I think it was the same night About the Sunday yeah, about the girl night. About the Sunday yeah, about the girl haircutting, Whatever shit. We had like a real nice talk, you know, and she was like you know, like you said this, you said this to me that made me feel threatened about the money. And she's like I don't like to feel like that, so I'd rather take nothing from you than you ever like talk to me like that. And she's like it's not the first time you've done that and I just had to sit down listening. I'm like okay, and she's like, yeah, she's like you know, I'm at a point in my life where I'm looking back at all of the choices I made in partners.
Speaker 1:I was always financially dependent on somebody else. I was never 100% self-sufficient. Right Now, I'm learning that this ain't 100 percent about me, which is good, but I'm also like being fucking quiet and listening, and she's like so the few times that you brought that up, it makes me question like, oh, this is more of the same from the last 30 years of my life, that I've always been attached to somebody who has to support me, and they're like whatever. I was like, I was like, um, just listening. I was like okay, and then, you know, she said some things that are not. In other words, she was saying like this makes me question whether or not I constantly find myself in this position. So am I picking the right partners or what's up with my fucking life and all this other stuff that I'm constantly in this position? Mind you, she's going to school now for X-ray tech. So I was like, hey, listen, you know, I understand, and I didn't mean it in those ways.
Speaker 1:Whenever I said something that may have triggered that and if I'm triggering the same thing, I said but you know, we have to. You know, if I do an analysis of our relationship, this is by far the best one I've ever been in in my life. 90%, 95%, incredible, 5%. We need to work, and maybe it'll be like that forever. 5%, we need to work and maybe it'll be like that forever. But 90 to 95% is everything more than I could have ever dreamed of. And I said did the other guys that you were with. Did you guys have this, did you have that? Did you have this? They're not like physical things because I'm sure she was. Probably.
Speaker 1:Listen, those of you who know my wife she wasn't with no bums. You know she can fucking, you know she can get a fucking hedge fund manager if she wanted to, a zillionaire. So she's like, yeah, you know, and I, she's like you're right. She's like, yeah, you know, and I, she's like you're right. But you know, in those moments it's hard for me to shake those other spiraling thoughts when they happen. And I was like this, I understand, because that's why I have all the help that I have, because I realize that I, if I 100% trust my own perception and ideas, the only thing I'm going to be is a victim on this earth. That's it. I'm going to be a depressed victim that I'm not good enough for everybody, I'm not good enough for anybody and then everybody's taking advantage of me. It's like a lose-lose. So it's like delusion and I have to recognize that.
Speaker 1:So we spoke about it and I was telling my sponsor. I was like, look, man, I got an example from my parents. I have two parents. My dad has gone above and beyond for my mom. You know, in those ways Not financially like supporting her, but they support each other and when there's extra, it all goes to my mama. My mama's got every fucking jewel and everything. She's got it all. So that's the example that I had, that's ingrained in me and, plus, I had to keep reminding her.
Speaker 1:They're like look, you have these two kids that struggled immensely in all these areas of their life Psychologically, mentally, all of these things that my wife had to fucking be home for them. She had to be, otherwise they would have never made it. They would have never made it, I promise, on their own, no way they could. You know, yeah, it's not possible, not without the support system that we built, you know, between my wife being there as much as she could, which was all the time, all the time, you know. So, whether I was here or not here, you had to be there for them kids, because if you had a regular career with money and all this other stuff, you wouldn't have been there.
Speaker 1:And look at all the stuff that was going on, even with you there and me there still, you know. So imagine you take the time of us being around. You cut that in half. Oof Bruhs, you know, you know, but I can't tell you when it would have happened. Maybe a couple years ago, I don't know. But there was a time when I would have had none of that pause, none of that space, and I would have just made it worse the whole way through. In the swimming pool that girl would have been like dude, your cousin's, a fucking dick In my house talking with my wife, you know, and that's what the 11th step does for me.
Speaker 1:I improve my conscious contact with God and I pray for the knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out. And that power is just me being the best I can be, and I cannot do it on my own Without him. It's over. I'll just be slave to all of my great ideas. You know I put this in the group text today, my sober group text. Sober, where did it go? There was a quote from the guy I was listening to this morning, quote of the day. I have to be willing to be saved from things. I believe it's real shit right there. Like and subscribe on all podcast platforms. Go to our YouTube page, the Sober Experience, check us out. Uh, don't take all of your relationship, financial and political advice from me, um, but know that, uh, you guys are not alone. I love you. See you on the flip side, peace.