The Sober Experience
Recovery and mental health, spirituality and life. We will be sitting down with people in and out of recovery who have helpful tips and shared experiences to provide better love and understanding on this earth. There will be a wide veriaty of topics discussed and after each interview there will be another reflection episode where I can analyze what we spoke of and what sticks to mind.
The Sober Experience
From Morning Rituals to Manhood: Navigating Growth, Accountability, and Spiritual Fulfillment
Remember the simple joy of dipping bread in your morning coffee, or the familial warmth of shared breakfast rituals? In this nostalgic episode, we bring those cherished childhood memories back to life while exploring the significant impact of parental guidance on our ambitions and character. Revisit the days when morning push-ups set the tone for resilience and discipline, and understand how these foundational experiences shaped our journey into adulthood.
We also tackle the ever-relevant topic of masculinity and accountability. Reflecting on personal growth through intense classes and martial arts training, we highlight the importance of preparation, toughness, and ethical responsibility. This episode goes beyond mere physical training, addressing societal expectations and the moral duty of standing against violence and injustice. Hear about real-life examples, such as the courage to intervene that embodies true manhood.
Finally, we delve into the pursuit of spiritual growth and self-improvement. Through candid discussions about sobriety, staying away from pornography, and the influence of steadfast role models like Little Chris, we emphasize the ongoing journey toward higher moral standards and inner fulfillment. We also touch on the unique happiness that comes from authenticity and dedication, especially in professions like teaching and law enforcement. Tune in, be inspired, and enjoy the featured music from Jordan Alva's 2023 album, "Naive." Peace and love to you all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYqVXtJ1NCU&list=OLAK5uy_npRR8Hr5t-_UwD9QzQgtvuLufIMlUJBwk&index=12
what up, sober experience. We are back, vibing Vibe in Yep, yep, all right, just another day in paradise. Well, that's the same right. When the rain higher than a damn satellite, when you feeling more alone than ever before and you trying to live a better life. But you live a double life. What up everybody, Welcome back Sober Experience.
Speaker 1:That's my man, jordan Alva, j-o-r-d-o-n, a-l-v-a. Scenic Off his album Naive. He's a sweet kid man. He's a sweet kid. He's got good message, got a good heart. You know he should do some push-ups, but he's a good kid.
Speaker 1:You know, all these kids are wiry nowadays, man, it's like, you know, it's just a whole different time. It's just a whole different time. And cut that off. Um, yeah, it's a whole different time. You know, in our day, in my day, you know, I don't know, man, it was just so much pressure, just from everywhere. You know, just so much pressure.
Speaker 1:You know, as a young man, you had to be, yeah, man, you just had to be. You know things that you weren't. You know things that you weren't like who is naturally who they are like. A lot of times, like you know, this is shit, that like. You know what can I say? Things that I, you know things that I learned, things that I learned by other people making me do shit and then I like it. You know, I don't know what I'm really trying to say. I mean, I know what I'm trying to say. What I'm saying is that, like you know, you're like this little, you know ball of ambitions, I guess. But you don't even, I don't even remember if I knew what I was really interested in or who I. You know, I was just kind of like bubbling around and then, over time, you know, you know people interfere in your life. You know, your life is is like kind of like, just like having fun and doing whatever, being a young, being a kid, and you got people Who've been kids and they are, they're trying to school you To the game, you know, and it kind of feels like Torture Because it's not immediately what you want to do.
Speaker 1:You know, when I was young I mean young like 5, 6, 7, 8, whatever you know I was very fortunate enough to have two parents and I grew up in a small house and they cooked us breakfast almost every day. Now breakfast, uh, during the week, was just medium boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs. That was it. Maybe my mom would make some farina. You know farina, but the good one, the one, the, the one with the white box, with that little boy on the front, you know, and my dad was like, uh, you know, it was like out of like a, some kind of television show. I guess you would if you were throwing it back now, that's what it would be.
Speaker 1:You know, my dad, you know, getting ready, my mom getting ready for work, me and my sister we'd be up. Uh, they'd get us, you know, make us jump in the shower. You know, we were like people who showered in the morning. Nobody showered at night, I don't know why, but we showered in the morning. We got dressed, I had to go eat my breakfast.
Speaker 1:My dad, um, I don't even know if I was hungry, but I knew, um, that I was not allowed, um, to eat my breakfast until I did my freaking push-ups, like I just and I, and it wasn't like, oh, my god, I'm so hungry and I have to do these push-ups to eat the, the eggs, you know, whatever, medium boiled eggs fucking crazy. Who gives a kid medium boiled eggs? And I guess, like some toast or something. You know, my mom was a little bit good about it though, too, because she would give me like bread and coffee you know I go check her before like all this stuff would happen. Sometimes she would give me like bread and coffee you know, I go check her before like all this stuff would happen. Sometimes she'd give me like a little bit of her call, even though my mom, she drank like freaking. You know, I don't know, I don't know what the hell she drank, but a lot of sugar in it and a lot of, I guess, stimulant. You dip your bread in there, boom, you eat it Either way.
Speaker 1:That wasn't every day, but every day I had to do push-ups before I had the eggs. And I don't even know if I wanted the eggs, except for I knew that that was the next thing on the menu, that I had to have the eggs, that I had to eat the eggs, but in order to get to the eggs, I had to do these fucking push-ups. I had to do these fucking push-ups and it wasn't a lot, you know 20. You know what I'm saying. Whatever, it was 20 or 30 push-ups and like, yeah, I fucking hated it. Who the hell wants to do push-ups right when they get up in the morning? You know, yeah, who the hell wants to do that.
Speaker 1:And I would do it, and sometimes when I was a little kid, I would be upset about it and you know he would make me do them, even if, like they were like if my cousin stayed over or something and it was like a Saturday or whatever or a Sunday, and he would. Saturday and Sundayay, we got real breakfast, like bro, scrambled eggs, fucking bacon, uh, some, sometimes pancakes. My parents, they would take uh grapefruits and they would cut them in half and so it would be like a little bowl and then they would like give you this little spoon that had these uh teeth on it and you would just, and they would cut it. You know, all those little things just make it like a little bowl of whatever. You'd sprinkle sugar on top of it. I've had, you know, ruby, red grapefruit and, uh, yellow grapefruit, and it was beautiful, you know, but you had to do fucking push-ups before before you could eat your food.
Speaker 1:You know, and I mean I was a little scrawny kid but even though I hated that stuff when I went to school or when I was out in the playground or in the neighborhood apparently not everybody does push-ups and that was, that was a good thing, you know it was a good thing. Yeah, not everybody did push-ups, so yeah. So if something happened as little kids do, everyone's shoving each other, who wants to take whose bike, who wants to do this, who wants to do that I wasn't the weakest link. So, even though I felt like a weak link in front of my dad because he would make me feel weak, he'd be like come on, don't be a pussy, do your fucking push up right now, like you know. And he would like scare her. He was just like a scary guy, you know, he just was. And he would.
Speaker 1:Um, we'd be in the middle of eating and he'd come into the kitchen Just check on us. You know, he leaves two kids in the kitchen, one, five, one, seven, eating fucking eggs While you're doing whatever you're doing, getting ready to go take on the world. You know he'd walk into the kitchen in his fucking tighty whities with a brush in his teeth, you know, and he'd say he'd yell at us, he'd like startle us. I think he did it just to fuck with us, you know, but he'd yell at us, he'd like startle us. I think he did it just to fuck with us, you know, but he would startle us. He'd say, eat now. And me and my sister we'd be like what? And we'd look at him and he'd be like, don't stop, just eat. And he'd fucking go back Fucking, brushing his teeth, his fucking underwear, you know, you know, dude, the guy was Dude.
Speaker 1:He was like from the fucking, you know, I don't know. The guy was born in a blender or something. I don't know what it was. So that's what it was. It was a lot of that. It was a lot of that. And just in that vein, you know, yeah, you really become grateful. You know you really become grateful because, yeah, all of those push-ups they showed up when they needed to show up, that I wasn't in that way, I wasn't insecure in school and I was a very active kid, I was a good athlete. I wasn't first but I wasn't last, you know, and that was so crazy, like you know. And, um, that was so crazy, like you know. But that's what you know.
Speaker 1:Going back, when you think about your life, you're like, wait a minute, you know this guy was doing the right thing. He was preparing me for, um, the perils of the perils of, you know, just existing. That's what he was doing and I didn't even know, you know, I didn't even know he was preparing me. Because it's like hey look, man, anything you know you want to. You want to be a good basketball player, you want to be a good student, you want to be a good whatever, like dude man, it's fucking tough and you're going to have to learn how to do tough shit, like doing shit that you don't want to do when you don't want to do it, you know. And to face yourself like that Because he's not going to be, obviously he's not going to be around forever and he wasn't around forever. I mean, he's not going to be around forever and he wasn't around forever. I mean he's around now.
Speaker 1:But when there were times, I guess, when I had to fucking, when I had to make something happen, I was emotionally and mentally prepared. I was like, bro, they used to kick our ass if we didn't even finish those eggs. You had to eat everything. You didn't eat those eggs, bro, let me tell you. I mean, was it like fucking World War II, fucking beaten crazy? No, but he would take like this white washcloth, like a towel, and he would like smack you with like a rat tail, you know, you spin it around you, make it long and he just whip you once or twice with it. It would fucking hurt.
Speaker 1:He's like yo, you got to finish your food, man, and you know, I don't know if there was so many times where you could say, well, if you don't finish your food, you're going to be hungry in school and all they got in school is motherfucking garbage. And if you're hungry and you're eating this fucking garbage, you ain't going to learn anything Because you're fucking hungry. You know, I don't even know if you could, even if a, if a child could understand that you know, or could understand that like, hey, listen, I don't have time to explain to your peanut brain that this is actually going to be really good for you in the long run, because I can't negotiate with a terrorist, which that's what little children are, you know, that's what young people are, that's what people untrained, undisciplined people, they're just terrorists, man To themselves as adults and maybe to the other people around them that love them. But you know, a little kid, you can't really negotiate with him. Sometimes, you know, you just got to get fucking crazy. You know, with him, sometimes he's just, you know, he just got to get fucking crazy. You know, and of smacking him with the towel, I guess was his way, instead of like I don't know, he didn't have time to sit down and try to convince me. Try to convince me what, that he was doing the right thing. What the hell do I know? But I know this.
Speaker 1:Uh, when it was time for uh, you know again for me to, you know, for me to excel, you know again, if I was in gym class, I wasn't the weakest kid and I don't know if I would have been the weakest kid without all them push-ups and sit-ups, whatever, but, um, I can't say that they didn't help, you know. So he knew fucking something and then, as I, and then when I started taking martial arts same thing, you know, bro he sent me to a school, you know, and these guys it was, uh, you know it was what it was, but it was one of these. Uh, initially it was, it turned into like tiger showman, but initially it was not that. Initially it was something else. It was uak and these guys were fucking tough man and they're walking around with a bamboo fucking sword made out of bamboo sticks and they'd be smacking you on your fucking legs and smacking you on your stomach. They, I mean shit, that if you did it today, only like a real dad, would be like, all right, cool, you know, like some of these other dads, it would be like something else. You know I'd be like fucking, you know, get my kid out of there. You know there weren't nobody's getting waterboarded, you know.
Speaker 1:But, um, I think it's a. I think it's a, it's a noble thing, it's a good thing to be like that, you know, I I think so because, yeah, as a young person, you need to prepare yourself for life. Men and women and whoever identifies as whatever. What's so funny to me is that, like you know, with women, biological women who identify as men, like, bro, you do not. You may want to identify as a man, but I promise you you don't want to be a man bro. I fucking promise you a man, but I promise you you don't want to be a man bro, I fucking promise you a man's life walking this earth is, um, yeah, you got to be a fucking savage bro in your own way. It doesn't mean you got to be a tough guy like fucking, yeah, I'll kick your ass and all that stuff, which is kind of like how my dad tried to make me to To make sure nobody would bully me. And I still got bullied a little bit and I did a little bit of bullying myself, not going to lie, mostly with my lips. You know what I'm saying. I was a quick-witted kid and that was it, and I could take care of myself, you know I could handle myself. But what was I saying? That, like, yeah, you gotta be a fucking savage, which is that, like dude, it's fucking relentless If you wanna be an actual man, not a male. So that's the. I think the difference is that, like you know, some of these people and they just wanna identify as a male, but they don't wanna be a man, because a man Requ't want to be a man, because a man requires you to be, you know, in ways that is not always natural, but then there's nothing else. You'd be like, bro, if I'm a man. There's not going to be too many excuses when the fucking, you know, when the money's running dry, when the, the home is threatened, when somebody has to make something happen, when there's an emergency, when, like the, you know, there's not going to be too many excuses, you know.
Speaker 1:I saw a video. Some guy, uh, some he, you know, whatever he there was like a pride parade yesterday in Park Slope and I don't know whatever he had, I don't know who this guy was, whatever. Some, some guy in a suit, punched this lady in the fucking face and, like smack gave her a slap, punched her in the face and, like smack gave her a slap, punched her in the face. She fell on the ground. And there were other men there, um, you know that were like okay with it and not that wouldn't say okay with it, but they were like you are a fucking animal, sir, you are a piece of shit, sir. And the guy's like, yeah, whatever, she blah, blah. And he just like walked off.
Speaker 1:You know, for a guy to fucking punch a woman, you know he's not like a real man. To punch a woman in the face like that in the street on Pride Day and whatever, bro, he's not a real man. That means that, like you wouldn't even have to kick the shit out of him like some chivalrous shit. You could actually just go and grab him and threaten him up a little bit. He's not gonna put his hands on you. He's not going to because he's not a real man, because a real man would know that there is a threat of another real man being around.
Speaker 1:If he decides to punch a woman that's not his own in the fucking face, you know. And even if it is his own, and that's 100% wrong. Just so you know, if I had to make that obvious, you can't put your hands on women, period, and that's the difference, you know. And they made us like that, you know. Yeah, it's unacceptable. I don't care, even if, bro, even if you just followed the guy and called the police and said, listen, I'm staying with this guy and whatever you don't have to do, scorpion, death lock. You know what I'm saying. But you follow his ass fucking home with two or three other guys so that way they all feel comfortable and you're like, yo, we're either backing this guy into a corner or we're following him to his fucking house because he just punched some lady in the fucking face. You know, but that's like you know, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know it would be, it would be hard for me to to uh, yeah, it'd be hard for me to watch and again, I'm not saying that I would jump in and try. Uh, you know any of my fucking jujitsu, my, no, no, my white belt jujitsu or fucking nothing. I don't know what I would do, but I know I wouldn't do nothing because then I'd have to deal with myself from doing nothing. You know and that's part of what being a man is about, you know, these conversations that you have with yourself that you're like yo. I am fucking losing in this area of my life and I don't have to figure out all the.
Speaker 1:The beautiful thing about being in recovery and going to meetings and being around sober men is that I don't have to face myself by myself, where, like you know, I guess what I'm saying is that I don't need the pressure of my pop to go and get my fucking meal. You know, I just need the, the love of my brothers and my connection with God. To be like. This is the. You know. I have to just not give into those tendencies to want to skip pushups or to want to skip the or to want to fucking hide. Bro, we used to, we.
Speaker 1:We were so scared about not eating that if we couldn't finish the food which was not all the time, you know I would take the food and I throw it on the side of the fucking fridge. You know, in between the fridge and the wall. I don't know how long you could do that before it stinks. And then they find it and then whatever. And then there's like a fucking beating, then there's a belt and the fucking whatever. You know, and yeah, because, number one, you're wasting food and number two, they got to teach you like, oh, you can't be doing. You know that's an unauthorized trade, that's a UT.
Speaker 1:I'm drinking a sparkling ice, cherry limeade, zero sugar, it says, with vitamins and antioxidants. You know, I'm sure it has all. Listen, the list of ingredients is one'm sure it has all. Listen, the list of ingredients is one, two, three, four, five, six lines long. So I'm sure there's a fucking. There's probably fentanyl and fucking COVID-19, covid-20 in there. Yeah, so that's.
Speaker 1:You know it's a tough way to live while you're going through those challenges, but I haven't found another way that has proven to be successful in teaching people that life is going to be hard, man, and if I don't understand and respect that, then life is going to be really fucking hard. You know, then I'm going to have to have some real conversations with myself, because I see people where, like you know, you can't take it easy for a long time. You know you got to work your ass off. You know, from the time you're young until you don't really have to, there's always some kind of work that's going on, but, like you know, to find yourself and to find who you are, and then keep all the good stuff and change all the bad stuff. It's almost like how can I say this? Like you know, you ever see where somebody's in a relation and this was me too, because somebody told me this shit. It might have been Fisherman Mike, or it might have been TJ, one of these old school AA guys who were the fucking best back in the day because they didn't play no shit. And I'm sure somewhere else not in my home group now because some of these guys I don't know if they could handle this kind of talking to.
Speaker 1:But if I was with a chick or whatever, and she was lighting me on fire, and she was lighting me on fire, and I was lighting her on fire, and I, you know, and I'd be like, oh, I need help, because this, that and the third, whatever. And I'd ask these these guys, oh, you know, I'd be like, yeah, I just I just broke up with this girl's girl, just broke up with me, whatever. And then I'd give myself like a pass. I'd be like, yeah, she wasn't, she wasn't the one. And um, they'd be like, guess what? You wasn't the one for her, neither fucker. And I'd be like, oh shit, yeah, I guess, if she ain't the one for me, that means I ain't the one for her, and that would be like news to me. That would be like news to me. What do you mean? I'm not fucking prince charming, perfect badass, motherfucker to the max. Come on, bro, I could do 30 push-ups right now. You know that, ain't it? I guess that you know that, ain't it? I guess you know that, ain't it.
Speaker 1:And to be pointed in the right direction, which is at yourself, that's what needs to be fixed, not everybody else, it's you that needs to be fixed. That's a lot of tough love there, you know, and that's what it is it's. You know, people telling you, people who love you telling you things that you don't want to hear, you know, and of course, everybody says, listen, you're doing a great job and we're proud of you and whatever you know. But there's more spiritual growth. You need to be getting closer to God and to what God, who God, wants you to be. You know. You think God wants you to fucking, you know, steal from your job. Is that what you're saying? You know you think he wants you to fucking disrespect your people, your children, your neighbors, your woman, your husband, whatever you think that's what he wants. Why don't we start there? Yeah, it's not an easy, um. Yeah, it's not an easy plate of food to use the, uh, to use the, whatever the analogy, it's not, it's not. It's a tough pill to swallow. But what happens is, is that, like when you go into the dark place which is accountability and which is discipline, like yo, every day, like like every day, do not gamble every day, one day at a time, do not be nice to everyone, you see, one day at a time? Literally like, try that, you know, try that.
Speaker 1:I've been on this thing for like a while. I don't even say a while. How long can I say? Maybe a couple of months. I'd stay, I'm staying off the P-O-R-N, the pornography Staying off, you know, and was it an issue for me? I don't know. To be honest, I don't know. I know people who it is an issue for, and and then I listen to them and I'm like, bro, I ain't doing all that shit. These motherfuckers is on there three, four hours at a clip. I can do fucking ten minutes and I am all. I am A-okay. You know what I'm saying. But yeah, because it's not serving me in any way, and I'm not saying that it stopped serving me. It was taken away from me, you know, it was taken away from me. It's crazy and I go on and off that stuff.
Speaker 1:My boy, little Chrissy, he knows, knows, you know, because I share this stuff with him, because he's somebody, he's a man that I admire and that I respect and that I hold in the highest regard and I'm not the only one because he is like a fucking Navy SEAL, silent fucking killer. He don't, he don't want none of the fucking accolades, none of the credit. This guy's like a fucking, he's like a bacon and egg sandwich, he's just fucking. He's puts in the work. You know, in a lot of ways I want to be like him, so but I've shared with him like dude. When I do that, guess what I'm.
Speaker 1:And I don't have problems with my wife physically, emotionally and mentally, and definitely not physically, bro. My wife is like you know. We might have another couple of properties if she got a fucking only fans and a fucking and a cat woman mask, with the fucking red ball in the mouth or whatever you know. But she, you know, she's got too much dignity to be doing that kind of shit. I guess I would fucking do it, you know, if I was, if I was as hot as her, I'd be like, listen, I don't give a fuck man, we can make, you know, 30,000 a month, you know.
Speaker 1:But some people have integrity, but some people have integrity. They'd rather make $3,000 a month, you know, and be who they are. And I'm not saying that the people who do that stuff have no integrity, but I'm saying that it would sacrifice my wife's integrity to do that kind of shit, you know. So she's doing the hard work too and it's inspiring, you know. It's inspiring because there's something for everybody online.
Speaker 1:Bro, these guys, they get all fucking crazy. Um, my boy was telling me that there's like, you know, these like webcams where people just watch other people get down and do, and these cam girls, and you don't even have to pay. I'm like, who the fuck? I'm just going to what? I'm going to? Sit there and just watch some chick dressed as a fucking dwarf or some, you know, you know, uh, what is it like? Uh, a B, a BBW or whatever, some wild shit. The guy's got his fucking foot in their ear or whatever. Dude, it's not for me, but apparently those people ain't making fucking money, bro.
Speaker 1:Well, we're over here washing rugs, you know, staying sober, living by spiritual principles, which are, I have to be honest with myself if it didn't bother me and I felt like I wasn't hurting anybody, that's what the fuck I'd do. You know that's what I'd do. But you know you surrender to this life and then you do all that hard work, facing yourself, preparing yourself. You know, preparing yourself for a lot of the stuff not going your way For your kids, not listening to you For you, never, ever, if you work it's funny because I was telling somebody I say this all the time it's like you know people are like well, you know, tax the rich or do this or whatever, busting people's balls who make a few coin, right?
Speaker 1:If you ask any person that has a job, or even if you're listening and you want to be honest with yourself, ask yourself if you think they're paying you enough. Invariably it will be no. There's nobody on this earth that feels that they are being paid enough, and that's because it's up to them to decide what enough is for them. And you say, hey, well, am I doing an honest day's work? And even if I am, am I being undervalued or is there no value? Is my value my perception of myself? Can it not be satiated? You know, if you ask a teacher, they'd be like yo, $200,000 I should be making. I'm like you, fucking stupid.
Speaker 1:I never met a happy teacher in my life Not one. I fucking swear, not one. I always say they're like police officers. I never met a happy one in my life, because happiness is coming from the inside. Happiness comes from you being who you are at all times. You know as much as you can. That's where happiness comes from and that's the deal. So that's what we strive for. But in order to get that, you have to earn it, which means you have to have, which means you got to do your push-ups. That's what that means you gotta do your push-ups. So, either way, love you guys, like and subscribe on all podcast platforms. Find us over there on YouTube. And again, that opening track was from Jordan Alva J-O-R-D-O-N-A-L-V-A. He's also streaming on all podcast platforms. The name of that song was Scenic. It's off his 2023 album called Naive. I love you guys. Peace.