The Sober Experience
Recovery and mental health, spirituality and life. We will be sitting down with people in and out of recovery who have helpful tips and shared experiences to provide better love and understanding on this earth. There will be a wide veriaty of topics discussed and after each interview there will be another reflection episode where I can analyze what we spoke of and what sticks to mind.
The Sober Experience
A Journey Through Pain Management and Personal Growth
Ever wondered how to stay uplifted even during life's toughest moments? Join us on this episode of the Sober Experience as we crank up some feel-good music and share insights on navigating through slow work periods, the importance of staying connected through meetings, and the vital role of friendships in grounding us. Get ready for some candid talk about dealing with sciatica pain, the surprisingly effective advice of using a foam roller, and the necessity of confronting pain for true relief and growth. This episode is all about embracing life's challenges with resilience and a positive attitude.
Get raw and real with us as we delve into the complexities of mental health and addiction. From the struggles with alcoholism and dark thoughts to the impact on family life, we don't shy away from the tough conversations. Learn how gym routines and the humble foam roller became lifesavers in managing physical pain. Enjoy a lighter moment with a hilarious story about a very chatty dentist visit. Finally, we emphasize the undeniable importance of self-expression, standing firm on personal beliefs, and staying committed to one's goals, wrapping things up with reflections on facing challenges head-on. Don’t miss out on this journey of encouragement, resilience, and positivity. Peace out until next time!
what's up everybody, welcome back. Sober experience. Hope you guys been doing well. Don't forget to like and subscribe all podcast platforms, youtube, everywhere. You know the deal. Figured, we get in the mood a little bit.
Speaker 1:It's been a while since I bumped some music, since they do some silly stuff on YouTube when you do it and today I don't give a fuck. This is Banana Walk by Dub Specialist specialist. Yeah, yeah. How could you be mad At all? What up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, how do you? Uh, yeah, man, you just gotta do your best to stay positive. That's the whole thing. You know what I'm saying and it's like how do you, how do you like, be negative With that kind of Music in your life? You know what I'm saying. Like, how, yeah, like, how do you? Yeah, so what's been going on?
Speaker 1:Been really busy at work. I'm happy because it was a slow couple of months, you know, and when it gets really busy I get overwhelmed and but I've been doing good. I've been sticking to the script. I've been making sure I attend my meetings, make sure I speak to whoever I need to speak. Script. I've been making sure I attend my meetings, make sure I speak to whoever I need to speak to and kind of stay out of the fray.
Speaker 1:I mean, the other day, what was it? Orange Boy got convicted and everybody's like 34 counts, meow, meow, meow, and then, like other people are just like this is an abomination or whatever. I honestly don't give a fuck. I still gotta get up every day and make something happen. I still have to Help my brothers and sisters and they-sters and them-sters. It's my job. I'm here to help you, you're here to help me, regardless of who's in charge, because the truth is God's in charge, cause the truth is God's in charge, and more, uh, the more you surrender to that, the easier your life is going to be. That's how it is for me. Man, I'm like bro and that'd be stressful.
Speaker 1:I hurt myself, um, I guess in the gym or whatever. Yeah, it was fucking bad For me. I had this sciatica pain and let me tell you, I'm super sober, spiritual, meditating, blah, blah, blah, cold plunge sauna, motherfucker to the max. But let me tell you this sciatica pain is no joke, max. But let me tell you, this sciatica pain is no joke. And, um, I was laughing about it at a meeting on wednesday when, like anytime I've told somebody like bro, I have this sciatica pain. Nobody was like, oh, don't worry, you'll be okay. Everyone's like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm like, yeah, it's fucking bad, dude, it's bad.
Speaker 1:But you know, I also didn't go down a super YouTube rabbit hole, whatever you know, which my obsessive mind can do. I didn't do that and what I did was just watch some stretching videos. And then I went and I spoke to my boy, little Chris, and some of the other gents that I know that deal with injuries, because we're older exercise people. And man, they said, dude, you got to do the foam roller. I was like, fucking what the foam roller? They're like, yeah, and it's going to hurt. I'm like, fucking what the foam roller they're like, yeah, and it's gonna hurt. I'm like, dude, this is like unadulterated, just life. You know, a day at a time, a thing at a time, and I don't have any like, I can't take any of these. Like you know, it was funny because I sent this to my, my guys and, um, I'll, uh, I'll share with you because I just thought I was like yo, this is the fucking world that we live in. You know what I'm saying and you, you know, if you go on Google, like yo, I have sciatica pain like this is what they recommend. Hold on. I found that I thought it was so fucking stupid. I was like dude, what the fuck is this shit? I'm sorry, I've been a little bit off. Let me roll back up here. Okay, here we go, right. Other ways to help sciatica include drinking more water. Okay, sounds reasonable.
Speaker 1:Taking over-the-counter pain medications I don't know any OTC pain medications, maybe like ibuprofen, that's what I would say. Then taking prescription anti-inflammatory drugs I don't know what those would be Because I don't take anything. Then using opioids like hydrocodone, oxycodone with acetaminophen or codeine with acetaminophen Dude, that is fucking Heron, that's Heron. Then, oh, you're using neuropathic drugs like gabapentin I can't even pronounce that Pregabalin or duloxetine, whatever, but like dude, did they not get the opioid? Fucking memo? Like that's like crazy man. Yeah, I can't have any of that stuff, so I just gotta.
Speaker 1:The thing is is like, just like anything else, I have to walk through the pain in order to feel better. So that foam roller is like a you know a metaphor for my life, where you know the, the, all the good stuff is on the other side of the pain, the pain of me showing up every day when work is slow and just doing my best and just trying other things. And you know the pain of of uh, yeah, just sometimes, the pain of existence. You know it's just. You know I don't think it's the absence of joy is pain. I don't think that, sometimes it's just so painful.
Speaker 1:You know, I had a bad thought a couple of weeks ago. It's been a few weeks since I've been here so I don't even know if I shared it, but, like you know, I was taking it was so stressful with work. I was taking a melatonin, go to sleep, whatever. It took like three days in a row, sleep and pill. And let me tell you I had a fucking bad thought of sitting in my car. I was like, dude, I don't want to be here. And not like a passing thought like this is too much. Like no, it was like a fucking, not even a thought, it was a feeling. Yeah, it was a feeling. Yeah, it was a feeling.
Speaker 1:And that was like a little bit of an alarm bell for me, because I had been burning the candle at all ends, whatever, for a while, just trying to scrape up every Dollar that we can. And now the floodgates are open, different things, but I'm just trying to scrape up every dollar that we can. Now the floodgates are open, different things. Every business that I know has been very slow since January and um, it was so slow, right, that like I was supposed to start another business and I couldn't fucking do it.
Speaker 1:And then I felt bad but like I just knew it was like dude, I, I'm going to I don't know when I'll be able to get myself, uh, steady, where I can, you know, plunk down a bunch of money and some emotional and mental attention. Thank God, thank God I have enough sober experience and thank God I have enough emotional evolutionary intelligence that only comes through making mistakes that I knew that I was like, hey, listen, it's going to be uncomfortable, but I have to have a conversation with my boy, amr, who I love. I was like dude, yeah, we can't do the, I can't do the fucking the rubbish removal business. And we were close, close to getting started, but I was like dude, I can't like I'm so stressed out, close to getting started, but I was like dude, I can't like I'm so stressed out, uh, you know everyone, everyone has a different um plate, but like my plate is like dude, I cannot be dead slow for like three, four months, five months. You know, I have like a staff of people that I have to. You know that I gotta pay. I can't just be like, oh it's slow, fuck off. That's what other companies do. They lay people off during the winter and then bring them back in the spring.
Speaker 1:I've never laid anybody off, even during COVID. Even during COVID, even during COVID, I never laid anybody off. I mean, I fired a lot of people, but I was never like yo, yeah, this ain't it, you know, and I pride myself about that. So there's that, yeah, so, yeah. So anyway, I was taking these sleeping pills and then I was like I want to check out. And you know what I did. I called my wife and not to like, you know, to tell myself I was like dude, I had a fucking bad thought. I don't remember if I called her, I just told her when I came home and she looked at me with identification like oof, and I was like, yeah, it was real, because I fuck with them, with my kids and Well, not my son, but the two kids that live with me and my wife Because they have like depression, you know, and I don't have depression, I just have alcoholism, which can manifest itself In all these ways that are just wrapped in self, where if I'm depressed it's really just because I'm only thinking about myself and not anybody else.
Speaker 1:I'm like, whoa, my God, this is all happening to me. All that self-pity, that's how I get depressed. I don't have like clinical depression and normally I can prepare myself enough that when life happens it's hard for listen, it's hard for me to even get depressed, but I mean I get low, but it's hard for me to get like actual depressed. So, anyway, then I started doubling up on meetings and stuff and, um, yeah, it was good. And then I remember I came home late one day and I told her because I shared it at a meeting, and she looked at me. She's like, wow, I'm impressed that you shared that at a meeting.
Speaker 1:And I'm like in my mind I felt like being like what, you don't know how it works, like I have to share everything Appropriately, but everything, you know, I can't keep stuff like that to myself, even though I'm like Mr AA, you know, fucking famous Blah, blah, blah. You know, yeah, man, we get bad days too, we do, and it's okay. It's okay because there's a way out out, man, you don't have to be by yourself. You don't have to be with yourself, you know. So I have this sciatica pain coupled with that stuff going on. So I can, I can go to the gym, but I'm being too much of a hoo-ha and not going because I'm like, oh, my legs, my legs, I'm fucking.
Speaker 1:You know, I have a tendency to always look for a way out when it comes to helping myself and a way in when it comes to hurting myself. Those are my tendencies, you know, and those are the things that I always have to keep an eye on. So, but what's the reality? The reality is I can go to the gym and just do upper body, bro. So I was going to the gym and stretching out in the sauna and doing some upper body. I felt really good one day and then I overdid it and it really fucking the sciatica really inflamed. But then that was like a couple days before I saw Chrissy and the rest of the guys who told me about the foam roller which has been saving my life, that foam roller on my legs and whatever it's been like, really, really, really good for me.
Speaker 1:So it's like you know, sometimes it's similar to when I told my wife about you know, I was like oh, I think, you know, I think that bad thought is connected to these things. And she was like just stop taking them. And I did, which is nice, man, because, like I go in and out of these conscious entanglements where sometimes I need something to help me sleep because I'm too obsessive and I'm like dude, I haven't been meditating regularly, so like my brain is doing, and I can't put three weeks worth of meditation into one night to go to sleep. So what am I going to do? Melatonin gummies or those over-the-counter sleeping pills, you know, just regular like sleep aid stuff, whatever non-narcotic, non-addictive, you know, which is it's funny because it's not it's, I wouldn't say it's not addictive.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I forgot, I got to take this creatine. It's not not addictive because I get addicted to the coma. I don't get addicted to being high, I get addicted to being numb. Sorry, I had to reach for this water. Yeah, I get addicted to being numb. That's what I want. You know, I don't want to do, I don't want to have any responsibilities, I just want to fuck off. And the problem is for me is that that doesn't feel good anymore when I do it. I used to feel great and then after a while. It's like it turns on you, you know. So taking care of myself is actually a challenge sometimes.
Speaker 1:You know, I went to the uh dentist, uh, for a cleaning and the dentist lady, it's like this uh spanish lady and she's like a little bit uh chatty, you know, which is weird. But whatever, you know, I make try to make nice. You know, like, uh, oh, I like your earrings. And then, dog, she went into a whole fucking thing about them. Oh, my husband and this dad and whatever you know, he left a deposit at the store and like I may pretend that I didn't know what kind of earrings they were, just so she could tell me what kind of earrings they are. I'm shaking up the Korea team, just so she could tell me. And it was like those like those fucking green clover expensive earrings that are like thousands of dollars, that are not. I'm not impressed by them At all. That are not. I'm not impressed by them at all. Yeah, I'm not impressed by them. Those charms, I mean they look cool. I don't know why they're so expensive. Apparently they're rare stones or whatever, but like fucking, so what you know? But yeah, she had to let me know they were four grand and I was like that's nice, your husband loves you, you have $4,000 earrings.
Speaker 1:You're over here telling me how I need to floss and brush better, like I don't fucking know, because that's the way that I whip my ass. Is that I don't take care of myself In that way and that's the one fucking way, man. So if I do everything I'm supposed to do for the day and I don't front on myself, you know I'll be like fuck it, don't brush your teeth. I swear to God. I'll be like fuck it, don't brush your teeth. I swear to God, I'm not even embarrassed by it, it's. I mean, my breath doesn't stink and my teeth ain't really yellow. You know, I mean I'm not going to buy that black fucking toothpaste or that purple thing to take the shortcut, and because if I do that and then my teeth turn super duper white right, and my teeth turn super duper white right, then I'm going to miss the magic of earning it, which I actually am looking forward to. You know, I'm looking forward to that. So the next time I see this broad, in like three months, I'll have my shit together maybe, or I fucking won't, but I've been doing better. I've been doing better with that stuff.
Speaker 1:You know Father's Day is on the way. My wife already asked me. She's like yo, what do you want for Father's Day? I kind of. I want something but I don't really want. I just want to be with her. You know, that's it. I just want to be with her. You know, that's it. I just want to be with my wife. Maybe we'll go to a hotel for a few days. I don't want anybody around, I don't want anything. You know I like that.
Speaker 1:I have such a beautiful home life, and so the life part is the struggle, but the home is not the struggle. You know, there are people who go home every day and they just it's all this drama and all this negativity it's like exhausting to hear, because you know, I help people through that kind of stuff and it's not, it's just part of life. I guess you know and I'm not judging them, I'm just I'm judging me. I'm happy that I don't have that. I have other stuff but I don't have that and it's.
Speaker 1:You know, I've been working on us for a long time and again just staying out of the way of the Lord, you know, just staying positive, doing my best to stay happy. You know there's a few tough conversations that I need to have with some people. One you know just people in my life. You know people that work with me. I've had them. You know one of my kids, also all of my kids. All the conversations where you have to be like some somewhat of a an authority figure to people you love, but they're always tough, but it's for your own benefit, you know. I need to have peace of mind. Something's gnawing at me. I'm like, hey, listen, I'm going to say this thing to you, and so it's just so you know. And then that's it. You do with that information what you wish. You know. You do with that information what you wish.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's nice to be able to stand up for yourself. I guess it's not even standing up for yourself, it's expressing. I'm expressing myself. Nobody's attacking me, uh, but you know that's how it goes. You know, if I want to be, I gotta be who I want to be. That's the whole thing. So, anyway, this one's gonna be a quick one, because I gotta tap out. I got somewhere. I gotta be and watch some boxing. I gotta drive all the way home. Bqe is closed. Um, you know, we're gonna get some more interviews up in the, you know, in the, in the future and in between. Now and then, you can check out some of the older ones that are on all Apple Podcasts and Spotify Whatever Like, and subscribe on all podcast platforms. Share with your friends, stay positive, give yourself a break, but don't give yourself license To fuck off. You know, face yourself, do what you gotta do, ask for help, and then I'll see you on the other side. Peace.